Yeah, that's right: bitchy... No, it is not a misspelling of beachy... I feel far from beachy today....
I feel, I feel... almost as disgusted as my profile portrait ;-)!
You see: my stomach hurts. A lot! For a few days now and alka seltzer, pink soup and even immodium seem not to make it better. So I need to find a doctor and make an appointment.
My real estate agent, Aida Martinez, (AIM Realty), who is a local Cabo Rojan, and a very nice person, recommended two. I call, ask if the receptionist speaks English... and hear no.
(I am surprised. Just a moment ago I called a local vet to make an appointment for my cat and the vet's assistant spoke decent English. While the doctor's assistant doesn't. Is it because most people who take care of pets here are English speakers... and the vet would not make any money catering to Spanish speakers only??? Told you I was feeling particularly bitchy today...)
She does not even try. Nor does she utter a polite disclaimer " I am sorry" or "lo siento". (And SHE is an American citizen, while I am not! The b... word again...) She just says "no".
Yet, instead of deciding right then and there to end this attempt at conversation, I do try my Spanish.
I explain that my stomach hurts and I need an appointment. ("Yo tengo mucho dolor de estomago y necessito pronto una cita con doctor ..."). She asks my name, tells me October 2nd and asks what kind of plan I have. All in Spanish, but that much I understand.
I have a stomach pain now and she tells me to come a week from now? And without specifying an hour? Or telling me the address? So I ask ... and she gets irritated and speaks now in this rapid fire Boricua, which to me is almost totally incomprehensible.. it does not even resemble the Spanish Spanish I know a bit of. Sigh...
I ask her to speak slower, she speaks even faster. And this only about specifying time and address. And keeps asking about my insurance and telling me "no". I tell her, don't worry, no se preocupe, knowing I am unable to explain to her that my "plan" will pay for any doctor's fees, but she tells me "no".
A rude, obstinate idiot, who should never be allowed to work with people. What kind of a doctor, I think, hires such a stupid bitch as his assistant?
Do I want to see such a doctor? I decide I do not want - let me rather die of stomach pain : he should have had enough sense to hire someone more educated and nicer. (Unless she is his wife... or lover... but then I definitively do not want to see him: the guy's judgement can't be trusted!) So I throw the receiver down in frustration.
And then I laugh at myself: why am I not mad at myself for not knowing adequate amount Boricua? Good question. Perhaps I am getting too old to learn effectively?
I did not have a problem in communicating in Spanish with medical support staff in Spain... they often do not speak English in the public medical system there either (but private doctor's assistants did), but they at least spoke Spanish, slowly, distinctly, like to a foreigner... ;-)
My stomach hurts... a lot... and I am sick of Puerto Rico... again (yesterday I dealt with car licence... don't get me started!!!!) and I want back to a civilized country: be it USA (which is not quite civilized, either, but at least medical staff there knows how to behave... and speaks English), be it even Spain... anything, ANY COUNTRY would be more logical and better organized than Puerto Rico!!!
Told you I was particularly b...y today, didn't I???